The Art of Making Friends – nothing ventured nothing gained

Loneliness and Why it’s Good to Get Together

Making friends and finding relationships: for some, this social skill is a natural talent. For others, well, they make it look harder than the Inca Trail without a Sherpa.


We spoke about loneliness in last week’s blog, and we continue to be astounded by the fact that 9 million adults in the UK are lonely. We’ve been looking at some of the most effective ways to form new connections and how to overcome the obstacles if you’re out of practice.

Improve your confidence

You’ve heard it a million times ‘you have to love yourself before others love you’. It might sound wishy-washy, but write a list of all the things you like about yourself and focus on them every day. If you see your strengths, others will too.

Raising your confidence levels, even by a small amount, makes you less likely to fear rejection when it comes to relationships and more likely to embrace new people and experiences.

Be Honest

It’s OK to want new friends and relationships and it’s OK to admit that you’re bored and lonely. The real kicker about being on your own for any length of time is that it makes you feel less than you are, increasing the feeling of isolation.

We’re sorry to tell you that you’re completely, normal. Needing personal relationships is as vital to the human condition as air is to breathing. Decide what information you’re happy to share about yourself and ask insightful questions of those you’re trying to get to know. You’ll surprise yourself at how common your ground is.

Find others in your boat

Look around you; are your friends or acquaintances single? Do you have colleagues in the office who are always at their desks beyond 8pm? Think about how you can help each other.

The friends and partners you’re looking for might be right under your nose, but if not, you could still come together. Strike up a conversation, suggest a beer after work, or bring them along to InTheMix or our other upcoming events.

Get offline……

We’re not saying that technology can’t be useful when it comes to meeting people; but we’re clear that the world of Internet dating and social media has made it harder, not easier to form meaningful connections.

There’s no replacement for meeting someone face-to-face to truly know whether you will hit it off, either as friends or something more. Emails and dating app’s make it easier to reject people and easier to stay alone.

……and try new things!

They say that nothing ventured, is nothing gained. You’ve got to become an opportunist! If you see a singles event advertised, book it. If you’ve always wanted to join a dance class, do it.

Stop missing out on life just because you’re afraid to be out of your comfort zone. Be pro-active and just say YES!

We don’t mind telling you that if we had a pound for every person who said they wanted to meet new people yet failed to turn up to events, we’d be running this show from a yacht in Portofino. But we can also tell you categorically that everyone who does come has a marvellous time!

At Finding Mr Darcy, we organise a range of events, from archery and days at the races, to informal get-together’s and cookery classes. We believe that the best relationships come from shared experiences and most importantly, that there’s something, and someone, for everybody.

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